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Oct. 1st, 2010 06:39 pmColene,
I'm sorry for what I said in Milliways. I spent two years pulling myself back together after you went down with the Normandy.
Then I saw Tali, and she told me about what happened on Freedom's Progress, and who you were working for, and everything fell apart. Everything I had kept in check for the past two years broke through, and again and again, horrible images kept coming to mind, no matter how much I tried to reassure myself. I just kept seeing you as some sort of blank slate, with no memories, fit for Cerberus’s use, or some undead horror.
When you showed up in the bar, no worse for wear aside form a few new scars, everything seemed to jumble up even more. There you were, strolling back into my life pretty much right after I had convinced myself to move on. It took me a long time to get over my guilt for surviving and let go. I'd finally let my friends talk me into going out for drinks with a doctor on the Citadel. Nothing serious, but trying to let myself have a life again, you know?
Do you even remember that night before Ilos? That night meant everything to me, and I hope it meant the same to you. A lot may have changed in that past two years but you don't mean any less to me. I care about you Colene. A lot.
But please be careful. I've watched too many people close to me die -- on Eden Prime, on Virmire, on Horizon, on the Normandy. I couldn't bear it if I lost you again. If you're still the woman I remember I know you'll find a way to stop these Collector attacks. But Cerberus is too dangerous to be trusted. Watch yourself.
I'm sorry I didn't go with you when we met on Horizon, I'd love nothing more than to be watching your back again, but I'll have to trust Tali to that for me. I just...I don't trust myself to work with them, and not screw up whatever you've gotten yourself into. Not after what I've seen what they're capable of.
When things settle down a little... maybe... I don't know. Just take care.
--Kaidan
I'm sorry for what I said in Milliways. I spent two years pulling myself back together after you went down with the Normandy.
Then I saw Tali, and she told me about what happened on Freedom's Progress, and who you were working for, and everything fell apart. Everything I had kept in check for the past two years broke through, and again and again, horrible images kept coming to mind, no matter how much I tried to reassure myself. I just kept seeing you as some sort of blank slate, with no memories, fit for Cerberus’s use, or some undead horror.
When you showed up in the bar, no worse for wear aside form a few new scars, everything seemed to jumble up even more. There you were, strolling back into my life pretty much right after I had convinced myself to move on. It took me a long time to get over my guilt for surviving and let go. I'd finally let my friends talk me into going out for drinks with a doctor on the Citadel. Nothing serious, but trying to let myself have a life again, you know?
Do you even remember that night before Ilos? That night meant everything to me, and I hope it meant the same to you. A lot may have changed in that past two years but you don't mean any less to me. I care about you Colene. A lot.
But please be careful. I've watched too many people close to me die -- on Eden Prime, on Virmire, on Horizon, on the Normandy. I couldn't bear it if I lost you again. If you're still the woman I remember I know you'll find a way to stop these Collector attacks. But Cerberus is too dangerous to be trusted. Watch yourself.
I'm sorry I didn't go with you when we met on Horizon, I'd love nothing more than to be watching your back again, but I'll have to trust Tali to that for me. I just...I don't trust myself to work with them, and not screw up whatever you've gotten yourself into. Not after what I've seen what they're capable of.
When things settle down a little... maybe... I don't know. Just take care.
--Kaidan
